Let there be space

From the bar, I gather talking to a couple of girls and still eyeing the baseball’s game direction. A tall, beautiful Jamaican girl sat next to me, and it wouldn’t have surprised me if she were a gypsy, told me her story about poverty and corruption in her native land. I listened, and made a brief comment here and there, glancing at the plasma television once in a while and sipping my beer with my body completely pointing away from hers. Though, I would look her in the eye, unimpressed, comfortable, not as someone who has to remember to do these things but instead as an individual who is at the driver’s seat. Allow me to rephrase: when you’re driving, and you’re a good driver, you don’t think about driving; you just drive. The skill comes to you naturally only after you exercise it often, error and trial, aiming at perfectionism (making things better, a process) and not perfection (conformity, complexes of superiority, the illusion of permanence). Even a great dancer is not exempted from being stepped on, so don’t worry about little rivalries, give them something worth staying for: space. Now that is not to say that I ignore them, it’s impossible, they are everywhere and one day, sooner or later, you have to admit it and face the music. The lesser your expectations, the minor your anxiety… suddenly, they seek you out to take a peep, tempt you, become elusive. But it is only too late: you are already in their circle.
Once we left the bar, and decided to go to a place picked by the birthday girl before-hand, just a few blocks away... It’s summer, so we walk, and make our way through. The important thing is to keep the social spectrum at bay, and rejoice in our company without necessarily disappearing. The thing is, in order to make others feel comfortable with you, you must be completely comfortable with yourself. Confidence, I believe, is what some call it. The omnipotent certainty that nothing is beyond your power and that therefore there shouldn’t be any fear involved... is how we should conduct ourselves at all times. Not only when it comes to women, but also friends, strangers and family. Always bearing in mind that every human being has a need for closure as well as a natural need to withdraw from all contact… this personal bubble is a delicate thing. It only follows that giving them some space and at the same time seemingly engaged, is the way to attract the crowds to you. Sometimes, you have to let the mountain come to you.