Gold and Laughter

Who looks outside, dreams; who looks inside, awakes -Carl Jung. 

In our minds, they are listening to our message, reading our words, presaging good fortune and good-riddance at once, hello followed by goodbye. Thoughts evoke far away beaches hidden in exotic places all around the tropical globe, ambient landscape music oozes by. The sooner I gave up the mindless ritual of getting or having to be with a girl at any given time, the better; suddenly, being no longer subject to the whimsical pull a cute girl might exert by just happening to be seated across from me in the subway made her intrigued. Her spell can instill doom: it spares no one. Why is this guy the exception? 
In time, as you shall mature and eventually know, she'll prefer her man to be more subtle, and yet not in the least bit timid about it. She has undesired suitors, passive-aggressively stalking her, some of whom she may take advantage of without the slightest shred of guilt. Don't complain of being used if all you settle for is the role of a servant. You give yourself away before they get a chance to know you; it's just gross. Women want to be able to look up to their man. 

Some men suffer of a zombie frenzy-like state syndrome induced by venustraphobia. Not that they fear beautiful women so much as how much these men hate to have this aberration, this nonsensical experience in front of them. They really never learn how to cope with sexual tension in front of what they may deem as desirable mating prospects. 
They find themselves following in their footsteps as zombies of sex always in search of carnal feasts, but of course it's not prudent to act out our desires in public. That's what the weekend is for. It's there where we shine, except I haven't had a night out in ages. To be more specifically, in about a few months. 

We can't escape the animal inside; we can tame it though, minimize the primal urge to jump her bones the minute she comes into sight; nothing like a fit voluptuous body, long silky hair, back and front. As men, we've learnt to compromise: not all girls bring the whole beauty package. Some have a big mind. So, why complain about her ass? Or vice versa. 

Opposites attract, so the bad guy ends up falling for the good girl, it doesn't only happen in movies. Fun in playing the bad guy is that it feels so natural and comes so easy a role, fit like a glove. Of course, it's in your nature as a man to try and decipher things, but when it comes to women is best not to ask or say too much. Instead of trying to figure her out, simply love her for how she is. 

Love can be the only solution to the alienation we face. 

As lovers, we often fall for the trap of getting too comfortable too soon. It's that laziness with which some of us drag along throughout the course of our lives that infects our relationships; if we never dared, if we rarely tried and venture out, dine out, walk the park, run, do stuff but some of us tend to be prefer a sedentary existence, rid of all the emotional upheavals of being in love. Loving someone we already care deeply about is just as much fun. It is comfy, like worn-out shoes that have grown accustomed and knitted to our symmetry: we just fit right in. That's the allure of intimacy. It can be brewed to perfection, like a strong drink; it's not just some sugar-coated coloring powder, just add water. Character is made out of an array of explosive chemical compounds that bind and stick to their legislated guns, no compromising our values... character is the aplomb and diligence with which you handle yourself, your business and others. Family members, friends, co-workers, they all have a story to tell about you. Be sure to beat them to the punch. Of course, we only see what we think possible. It's how we're built. 

But if we look through the foliage of this mirage, we can see their fate maneuvered, evolved selves replicating themselves, perfecting all that's good as is, never subjugating to the status quo. We should be conformed with the notion that change is the order of the day, and that in relentlessly pursuing some goals and lay some psychological mines to ignite the way for those behind, an easy trail to follow.  

That's why we abhor unsteady and wandering minds, indecisiveness, fragmented and disjointed themes, unscathed plots, sultry dames, immediate results, longevity, gold and laughter bordering on madness. It happens if you drink and become euphoric, rules are cast out, instincts prevail. How we deal with our impulsive mind is, like a pet, you domesticate it. You may feel like going to the bathroom but it doesn't mean you shit in front of others. Being aloof saves us tons of time, but playing it out with just those who most strike our fancy is foolproof. 

Ever woke up and found yourself in bed but did not know exactly how you got there. Thing is, you did take care of bringing your drunk self to bed, but in order for it to succeed you had to save energy, and so you chose to deploy temporary memories for the task. How afraid you are that you next to nothing, just fragments, maybe the train fell asleep on the steel cold tracks in between stations and the coming to a standstill in an always buzzing city like New York utterly disrupted the lethargic state of mind in which you found yourself emerged. It's not a mystical outer agent that saves you from yourself; it's your higher state of being, the one who never leaves anyone behind and it's always shouting so that you can catch up. 

Within all the undisciplined and self-serving memes, mental process-seer-of-all, the mind behind the mindless tasks that consume our lives. The beast that Schopenhauer named "will". The enigmatic entity that Freud denominated "unconscious". Like a zombie in a horror flick, the monster doesn't know itself as you see it for what it is, it doesn't have a conscience. As a specie, we've lost some of our moral fabric. 

Plato spoke of men as trapped in a cave, only seeing their own shadows, and to consciousness as stepping outside the cave and seeing in its full splendor all the life that surrounds us. We can honestly speak of us modern men as trapped in a rectal cave; we gotta stick our heads out of our asses. We've been obscenely narcissistic for far too long. It's time to stop and think slightly bigger for a moment and then find about ways to make that happen. Transforming our body into a calorie-burning machine, rippled with muscles, and read about how to get ahead in all sorts of self-improvement sources, YouTube, especially. You can learn how to cook. How to install a provisional wall, and along the way come up with the idea of turning it into a metaphor for relationships. How to dance bachata? How to anything, really. Movie trailers to movies you'll never go to the theater to see, movies you'll watch whenever they show them on HBO, or Amazon On Demand movies, or any other competitor that may have it for less or for better quality. You'll find Amazon on YouTube but never the other way around. No way. 

I love YouTube because it's pretty much like having your very own channel. A channel that, unlike those on television, can virtually be seen anywhere in the world there's freedom of speech and an internet connection. It's a great wealth of shared information. 

It's best that you date only people who can still sleep in their own bed. They choose, instead, to sleep together interchangeably in either his or her bed. That's setting boundaries and at the same time building comfort and rapport. Some couples get there right away; for others, it takes more. 

It's best to have that closure and intimacy, spend quality time together but also each have a place of its own. And in that place, absence will make the heart fonder, and wounds would heal. She'll get time to rest and look replenished, rejuvenated by good sleep that can only come from not sleeping with their man who snores, takes two thirds of the Queens size bed, sleeping like there's no tomorrow and waking up to take on the world. That's way too many macho hormones floating around, any woman tied down to a relationship in which she's daily exposed to her lover under the condition of husband or long-term boyfriend, they appear more ragged and deteriorated than their no-strings-attached counterparts. 

If we expose ourselves too much too early, it might be thrilling in the initial stages, but old dogs can't be pissing all around. Playing the field is like jerking yourself off; once you lose the encumbered posture of your insecurities and simply walk tall, no slouching, right there and then, irrevocably, things change. Things will always change; it's the law by which they're regulated. How and in what way will they change, that's presumably up to us. To an extent. But usually, the best the shot we give it, the more multiple shots we throw, the closer we get to knock this thing out of the park and home run. How we get there, it says a lot about our nature. Do you jerk off or fuck your girl? Why choose one, right? We'll never be satisfied. It's an insatiable itch that even if we were to be served a single virgin every night, we'll still try to see if we can get a night out. Look, as a youngster, my focus was on quantity, and I had a whole lot less possibilities than when I shifted my focus on to quality instead. 

Some species don't hunt often for food because they're smart enough to kill big prey, swallow it slowly, save some for later. It's a miracle when your mighty will wins the day, in the name of honor and pride, sanity, and sometimes so that you can keep your job, get to see your son tonight and find some food on the table after work. 

Maybe I'll travel outside the country, or go to Miami Beach as usual. Hopefully, MMA is sanctioned by the New York State Commission as a safe enough sport to be shown on Madison Square Garden, such as boxing. This way I will go to Vegas and watch it from a bar like I do in New York when MMA fights take place in Vegas. Night venues don't send you off once the fight is over, you get to stay and mingle, drink up! Yeah it's a wonder and a sense of freedom that

It's the good kind, and as women are sages in this respect; they prefer exclusive relationships as opposed to men, who favor variety. It's not that women are bounded by more strict moral codes than us men. I said "prefer", not necessarily a mandate. Their libido can be a powerful drive in seeking and keeping a sense of harmony in her life which usually revolves around those she cares for. Men aren't as selfless. We do contribute but in most cases not nearly as much as women put in. 

In our youth, and in some cases well into obstinate age, men take unnecessary risks, unwarranted gambles. If you want to move out of the neighborhood you were born and raised, and take your family along, that's a safe bet: you plan and take action. 

It's risky, to step out of your element, to try something new, to envision a parallel route. We ought to examine ourselves from time to time, come to grips with the realization that our time here is limited and that we can only choose to make ourselves and others happy. By being happy, you no longer look for happiness elsewhere. Instead, everywhere you may enter, happiness arrives. Wherever your path takes you, disseminate seeds of joy, plant adventures, cultivate kindness.