Women revised

You glance back and suddenly Maria doesn’t ring any romantic bells anymore. Neither does Crystal. Suddenly, I find living without the things that we obsess about is possible. Our minds make things seem more powerful than us, social situations that cause anxiety, personal demons; girls once thought to possess the answer to all of my existential ailments no longer pose a threat to me. Sad that I invested so much energy in something as plentiful, and in no way I’m being dismissive or arrogant about it of the complexities involved in it. We men struggle throughout our lives with the authoritative mother figure; as children we succumb eventually to the notion that in order to get what we want, first we need to behave. And then, having no other conscious models, we subconsciously deal with the opposite sex with the same conflicted and unsolved manner used with our mothers. That is probably why, as I’ve said often, many men go from a maternal to a conjugal dependency. They haven’t truly dealt with their internal issues.
Thing is, and I uncovered it late, men are such proud and obstinate creatures. Their ego gets in the way of their best intentions. They’d never want to be caught following advice from another man even if it’s in their best interest. The never-ask-for-directions complex, I assume. Perhaps this is where I link insecurity and ego, and hence the true nature of confidence: our ego is an animalistic part of us and by no means would I suggest getting rid of it. Go around it, if you will, leave it aside for now and concentrate on the issue at hand. Women can detect on the spot what will take me a few hundred pages to explain to the average male.
Take a step back, no rush. Since our nature is so competitive, it makes sense that a reward and punishment mechanism is at play. I know, you have no idea what the hell I’m talking about. Well, neither did I. But reassuringly enough, I’ll put in simpler terms: The main reasons we fail with women are: A) We would never admit to needing anything, let alone recognize as a failure our approach to women; B) All is about competition when it comes to us, so we see sex and women linked together as in means of domination and acquisition; C) We’re too sexual way too early; D) We don't know the first thing about body language; the list goes on and on.

A) ASKING FOR DIRECTIONS: Asking for directions doesn't make us any less a man. And it's not just the asking part; I, for one, used to hide the fact that I was reading material on self-improvement. We don't know how much we fear something until it stares us in the eye and then we realize that we are, well, more afraid than we thought. So, in not asking for directions, you're caving in to your fear. Fear should be handled like a hostage situation: you don't run away from it. You work with it in the most serene and positive manner possible.

B) PRIME FOR THE COMPETITION: Nothing wrong with our competitive nature but you probably heard that old saying too much of a good thing, well... What is it, then? Why not be so competitive? Dealing with women, you never stop the competition... let's just say that the competition then becomes far more complex. It's a mind game. That is why some it the game. You stupidly compete when you keep a number of your conquests, for instance or when you get all charged up about the idea of taking a woman out, or you decide to invest your whole energy on impressing her. Stop! Relax! The key to women is to remain unaltered by their presence, as you rarely see the average man has trouble keeping his cool in front of them. By "cool", I mean the iceberg kind. Deal with them like you would if it was someone you knew for a long time but add to the mix humor and feel truly comfortable in your own skin. How you feel will determine everything. How should you feel then? Not anxious, just unimpressed, somewhat indifferent. To be ahead of the competition, you should be willing to have something no other male has... a realization that you know what she wants... which is... pretty simple... being able to be comfortable around you.

C) TOO SEXUAL: Why is it that we think and even obsess about something we spend less than 1% of our lives doing? Hell, we spend more time brushing (in our modern times, that is) than actually doing the "dirty" deeds. So, why do we stress it as much? It's often the things we think too much about that we end up rarely coming around to fulfill. The pressure on our shoulders is so great that just a simple interaction can go terribly wrong. The slightest sign of nervousness can make things go awry. We have no control over others and yet how they respond to us has a lot to do with our behavior; instead of trying too hard, try less. Like whenever you want to find a misplaced item, you stress over where you left it and often times you find it when you least expect it. Stressing the sexual issue, playing sex jokes, gender-oriented teasing, will not get you far with the opposite sex. Not being able to look them in the eye and be completely indifferent, as if you were too busy on something other, is what keeps you apart from being surrounded by a sea of women at any given time. Leave the sexual agenda off the table for now, and concentrate on anything else, the weather, a piece of clothing of hers, the particular day or whatever it is taking place.

D) ON BODY LANGUAGE: Your eyes are your most precious weapon. The idea is not to stare, but to show her that you are capable of looking straight into her eyes. Do this until she takes hers away. Another thing is, your posture. Stand up straight, don't slouch. Hygiene, too, goes into body language. You need to be extremely careful with your appearance, have the freshest breath, clean nails, be well rested, exercise. It's not that difficult.