Character Is Destiny

I had been searching for an answer, meditating arduously, and I meditated myself out of imminent sickness. A nasty flu virus that has infected most people I know; the weather getting colder, the sleepless night at my new overnight shift at work, the lack of physical activity and poor diet, smoking cigarettes, the drinking, the spending, the bills, the job at hand... well, these all contributed to what could have been a few sick days. Meditation killed them all; it overpowered every other bad influence and restored my health. All it took was one session a night to find more peace and relaxation than a week's worth of sleep.
Meditation is the best medicine there is. But still, I had no answer.
Then there and then, it happened. I saw Shari come out to meet her sweetheart and as I went about my business, found it. It started as me reflecting on how come a guy like me can move and sway a girl like that.
I was immovable back then and though initially it was just an act, it caught on. Now, a lack of physical activity always shows, unless you're starving yourself. Back then, I continued to reflect, I was leaner and meaner, less fragile and far less sweet. I wasn't a jerk, never have mastered that completely. Well, maybe at times, when is absolutely necessary. Otherwise, a harsh silence, an air of unmeasurable indifference, an unexplained absence would do just fine. Back then I was fierce and fearless; I was unmoved by whatever she brought to the table. Around me, she never quite felt in full control. She spilled coffee all over her the first time I spoke to her, and I only waited two and a half years to do so.
Our communication had been going on from when we first locked eyes. She must have had a crush on me already because I didn't notice until she literally jumped out of her skin once when I came close to her.
In fact, I remember I never looked at women's anatomy, and kept a cool, undisturbed demeanor about it. I didn't brake the ice; I melted.
What a far cry from that most cold of characters.
And I had a realization, as I thought back how it all started and how awesome everything was, and how she wanted me to open up and how she almost never violated the golden rule: it is the guy who has to make the first move. I never did.
And on top of that, I never begged.
And I always teased her, in the most secretive and sometimes flat-out courageous ways. I'd yawn later on, to signal boredom as to how things were going. I'd wink my eye when she was near by with a smile on my face, full of unapologetic testosterone, although I wouldn't do it directly into her eyes. Never gave her the excuse to know herself whether I was for real or not. I always kept her guessing, and she still hasn't quite figure me out.
She doesn't need to.
Oh, right! I forgot... the answer.
The epiphany was, character is cultivated. Like a great body, it doesn't just happen. I went from Mr. Destroyer (to quote Calle 13), to the Mr. Niceness Yet Manly type. I ought to go back to basics. I need to cultivate a bolder, quieter, less needy character.