Shape-shifter

The moment she says she’s leaving, I am thinking, “Is this time for real?” I should be thinking, “How many times has she said that before?” I do that too, but I know it’s in the back of her mind, she’s just being insecure. I need to reassure her, like I always do; I need to guide her, but she’s just so stubborn. I need to listen only to her actions: her relationship status’ still the same: we are still together, according to Facebook. And she’s probably not going anywhere. I need to take care of the things I haven’t taken care of as of now, and I have been very diligent. She’ll be home by the time I get there; she said so. Women will drive you to fortified wine. I cooked for her last night; we drank wine and it was just wild. I held her close, in my arms, I brushed her hair off her face, slept with my hand between her thighs, felt her heart race. I told her my dirtiest secret: I’m still married, I want to and will get divorced, I have moved mountains for you, I do not want to make the same mistake I made with Connie, I loved that girl too and I should’ve been divorced, it’s agreeable, so it will happen sooner rather than later. She was, clearly and understandably, upset, but I could sense a shift in her wrath. I told her I’d be home soon, I had to go to work and do a spectacular job. I need to raise my standards, do so in my relationship as well.

It bothers me she says that she’ll leave, just not as much as before. Women are like the seasons, their emotional states change from one day to the next. They’ll drive you to fortified wine if you let them. The trick is to remain slightly less emotional, centered but firm, back down and yet never bow down, unless of course the occasion merits it and never for long. They need our strength just as much as we need their sweetness. If you lose your cool, you lose, but you can’t help losing your head from time to time. Just like she has tolerated your bad behavior in the past, you need to forgive her fleeting state of mind, her volatile feelings, and her unsteady nature. She’s a woman and as such, she’s bound to fluctuate, she’ll say one thing and do another. You need to guide her, reassure her, or make her feel at home. Regardless of the outcome, always be a gentleman and never take her word for it. She’s a shape-shifter, one day she’s a rabbit just rumbling through the forest of your mind and another she’s a volcano erupting lava and burying the city of your serenity. Build again, scratch it off, don’t make a big deal out of nothing and get her flowers. Discipline her with love, don’t scream but be firm in dealing with her, let her feel you’re strong but also let her feel your love.