The Reconstruction

I will now better myself as a conscious choice and though consciousness really plays no part in evolution (we can see this fact in that we do things we do without thinking about doing them, sort of like a spontaneous resolution whether they’re good or bad to us). I’ll recreate my own reality by publishing a book in a matter of weeks (instead of months); I will then promote it every chance I get. I will go back to the club scene for a little while and talk in that book about every aspect of my life. I will continue to exercise as I have done so lately, and lose ten pounds of fat and change my diet for good. I will surround myself with more positive people and situations and recreationally enjoy myself at times. Go out, party, and seldom smoke. No need to become a monk all of a sudden. Instead, I’ll focus on moving out of the mess I live in and divorce myself from the things I’ve been engaged with. We’re never the same person twice; in a little while I’ll be a thousand fold stronger and clearer than presently. I will eat healthier and talk less and confront fears more often and realize that this is the only life I’ve got so I might as well make the very best of it.
Isabel, whom I love dearly, is just so damn negative. I've got to help her be more independent than she is right now because now her destiny is linked with my son's, who strangely happens to be the person I love the most in the entire world. However, I can't possibly think that my life's joy should be restricted as a consequence of having a son. I'll go back to school eventually, and finish a degree in Social Science, by my mid-thirties. In part, because my son will be proud to have had a positive impact on me (which he has).