On Your Way Now

Most of the time, I stay home. Randy, a long-time friend of my stepson, had told me that his dad had never been in his life. He complained how some men didn't want to be in their kids' lives, some even denying being the father, yet he was unable to see his own daughter recently born. I gave him the diapers Connie left behind. And then he said, that he was a devoted father and on and on about how he hates how women take hostage our sons and daughters, and when he finally vented all his venom out, I told him: "Both types are wrong. It is wrong to be the neglectful father, the one who doesn't take time out to be there, from time to time; but also, it was wrong to want to be there more than it is necessary or show off just how much you really love your child. Instead, use that energy to procure your own means of survival, work on yourself and your goals, and don't just make your life revolve around your sibling. Now, that's not to say that you have any less responsibility than the mother, but if his partner now wanted to part ways or not have him involved in his baby's life, he should be okay with the decision. Because women want to see how you react, if you are gonna be man enough for both of them or if you're gonna turn into another child. It's tiresome when you show up in every way and shower her with unrequited attention, best to give her plenty of space and show your love with actions, the manly way. Work on whatever it is that you need to in order to achieve the next level, you should at least challenge yourself to a good workout, a little time out from time to time, and give plenty of yourself materially to your significant other. In other words, show your love for your baby by giving meaningful gifts, by contributing to the child's well-fare, by being involved with whatever it is that needs solving. Just give yourself time and practice some patience, women come around when they feel your support is genuine. You can be there for her in many ways other than physically. If you can't be man enough to be on your own, then you're not man enough to be with her. She can, if she decides to, walk in and take an important role in your life but only if you want it and she wants it. If you have to wine and complain and beg, then that's not a good dynamic. Whenever a woman doesn't want you in her life, it is not a good sign to go chasing after her. Show her your support in other ways, and be gentle and do tell her that she can choose however and that whatever her decision is, so be it. Don't go about trying to change a woman's mind; you have more chances with her if you don't overplay your hand. Besides, as men, we should have other directions, more important things to tend to, not be at the mercy of a call or someone or anyone else for that matter. It is how we invest our time that makes a life rewarding. Work on yourself, focus on your own development, have goals and aspirations, go for a run, cook your own meal, continue studying the fire safety plan and all things related to your field, so that you can capitalize on the degree of commitment. Life is not just about partying and friends, so dedicate yourself and be on your way now.
Now few can say they see me at the bar every night, I prefer to spend time home and have no more than two beers, sometimes wake up and go to the gym, three to four times a week. I cook my own food. I eat well and sleep well, and have always something to do. But I love to lay on bed in the living room of my one-bedroom apartment and sleep watching TV on my giant flat screen 51" Samsung, nothing extraordinary but it is quite impressive. I love watching Amazon, listening to music and planning things to do with my sons, or on my own. I study what I have to in order to acquire the skills needed to get to the next level. This is a challenge, my job that is. I need to focus on my duties as an FSD, and it's nothing that difficult. But if you don't prepare, you won't pass all the examinations required in order to be able to sit at the table and once in a while conduct drills. Not really that big a deal, but only if you apply yourself. It has nothing to do with how smart you are. You need to take time and read the material and think the way that field requires it. It is somewhat tedious, but nonetheless discipline takes discomfort, like instead of blogging, study. And if you work out, your brain will be more alert and have more energy to store new concepts and ideas. Study. And if you go out to a coffee shop, then have a coffee and read online articles about all sorts of things, and then look at how good all the info can be blogged. Instead, I think, I should be studying, so in the end, I design a time and place for study time to happen. It takes close to an hour to say you are dedicating your time: exercise, if you were to have sex, meditate. It all takes close to an hour a day. Forty-five quasi-hardcore minutes after a few minutes warming up. Of course, you aim at little more than a half hour and then sometimes you find that you spent more than an hour doing so. Which it creates good habits, and life is about adopting the right habits. Happiness has some planning going into, but not all of it cold and precise but also magical and untamed, like suddenly deciding that instead of going out all night you just want to stay home and write, and write. Now you're on your way, and you get to do as you please. 

Living with others is difficult, but even when you have your own place and you're your own boss, you're still forced to serve and deal with other people. Therefore, you should aim at getting alone with everyone, especially if you happen to share a sibling with them. It's not easy dealing with women, and some are worse than others and not be better at other things, so it's like you enjoy the safety one offers but then you also feel attracted to the freedom the other exhibits, and you're pulled in every direction. It's good to be open to everything but bounded by nothing, like Wayne Dyer once said.