When You Come to New York

I was initially mad about her leaving me. Of course, we had problems, but none of them, I considered, big enough that couldn't be resolved. Some, like the divorce, had already been tackled. But I did play a role in her decision, if only maybe indirectly. I had suggested the idea of her taking sometime with her parents and I still think it was a good decision, even though it took a lot of grief and sorrow. In order to evolve, you must suffer legitimately, what is necessary, so that you grow. Now we know and understand that we both made mistakes, and I made the greatest one of them all -I failed to see things through her lenses. I was logical and made a mistake in connecting with her, maybe seeing how hard it must have been to be home alone with a baby, a first-time mom with a history of manageable depression. No, I don't think she's an alcoholic; she just transforms herself, like alcohol does to us all. And though we may never imagine our lives without alcohol (if it wasn't for it, we would've probably never met in the first place!), but we can imagine ourselves as we are now, apart and more united than ever. No, we make gradual changes, mine have been no less than yours. I've seen how lovely your family has been to Julian, how he is loved and it feels me with joy, I feel an immense gratitude. Of course, that's not a favor to me, but we have this great connection, this tiny person who connects all through love.
Anger melted since I know that I am no longer resentful, not as hormonal as I was when I wasn't working out, over-worked and out of shape with a baby and a sour relationship, no sex, a newborn home, a girlfriend, and a second family, I had no life. It took a load off me, it relieved me from the stress of dealing with all the problems two grown adults with different views and opinions to get alone. It's easier to get alone in a larger home, like the one they enjoy in her hometown. All the good outweighs the bad, and the most of the bad has just really been about stupid drama and incredible amounts of stress we weren't prepare to deal with. The way things are, we know we care about each other, at least it's true of me. Not caring for you is like not caring for my son. Loving him and seeing the love he gets, makes it easier for me to be away from him. We can and will amend some of the issues distance brings. Mostly, that I miss you guys and I'd love to see you again, not too long from now. I also want to see you come to New York and see my family, they love you guys. Of course, they've stood in the sidelines just out of respect, but everyone of them, at least the ones that matter, always cheered for us. No, I am not trying to seduce you and take you back into my nest, but you have to know that you have a home here. And that when you come to New York, my door is open. To you and your family, anytime.