Luke, I am your father!

It's common to hear in spiritual circles the notion that no one belongs to us. While we can see the positive aspect to this allusion, there's also a negative component to it. First, it doesn't feel right. A little sense of belonging is always deeply ingrained in us; we are, after all, an ultra social species. Specially to us men everywhere, who aren't just yet ready to share their house or their woman, no matter how spiritually evolved we consider ourselves to be.

Let's take the relationship realm. In love,there are some very powerful forces involved. We want (especially us men) to make God damn sure that no intruder comes in the middle of the night into our house, even if it's just to take a shower; what makes us think we are ready to share our woman when we are not even ready to eat from the same plate with another?
The problem lies not in a sense that no one belongs to us. That may be part of the narcissistic nature of this culture in which we we're born that celebrates the individual and his/her rights to do with their lives, and specially their bodies, whatever they want. There's clearly something awry here. Whereas we can say that no one belongs to us the way a slave would, i, for one, want to own my kids and my woman in a very healthy way: with tough love. I want to know that my kids don't think I'm lenient; I'm really not their friend, with a tone of voice as in "Luke I am your father" I'd say that just how we rule their early life it is only so that later in life they can stand on their own and be strong and lead independent lives. And just the same, when it comes to my woman, I want to make sure that my sense of her belonging to me doesn't revolve around an egotistical end, that it doesn't come from my personal needs and internal vacuum. I want to come from a place of love, not fear; and if I say I am ready to let her be on her own and do we whatever it is she wishes to do, that'd be the day I'm ready to walk out the door.
Look, I know it may sound chauvinistic but I don't think I'm alone here. There's obviously a good intended end in the self-centered approach that says, "no one belongs to you." It jk just doesn't translate into "you can do whatever you want." Of course you can, just not with me. It is okay to spend time alone, to not want to be with our lover sometimes. But let's do so with dignity and respect for one another. Often we talk highly of the person we "love", so long as that feeling is validated by actions and certain expectations are met. We run into problems with people because in our search for closure, we do away with the openness required for it to succeed, and we tolerate other people's little tyrannies. Be bold and claim what's yours. You don't share your clothes, you have a nation, a tongue you speak in, your own way of seeing things... don't be afraid to let others (specifically the one you love most) exactly how you feel and think.