Thoughtful Way

Altruism is selfish. 

Selflessness is a rare trait, but we all admire those who exhibit such skill, discipline is sacrifice. Give indiscriminately, forgive, do not hold grudges, read a good book, plant a tree, write a book, mingle, work out. 

That last one, I do. As of late, I am getting in very good shape. 

And so much so, that I started watching my diet, too. I eat a whole lot healthier than ever before. Eggs, cheese, spinach and some other veggies, and oatmeal. I snack an apple or an orange. I eat celery, and add a spoonful of blue cheese. High intensity sessions lasting between as little as one intense minute (either sprinting or doing pull-ups, push-ups, till exhaustion). At the gym four to five days a week, I do not spend more than five minutes with any machine and I sprint on the treadmill for thirty to forty-five seconds, then stop for a few seconds, no more than thirty seconds, and then start all over.
I throw myself on any clean surface and do as many push-ups as possible. I do not leave home unless I do a combo equaling roughly a few dozen pull-ups and/or one hundred push-ups. I always sprint to the train station, six blocks away. After work, I do not spend more then forty minutes at the gym but lately I am working out somewhat longer and still more intensely than regularly. I am pushing myself, as opposed to following the plan that I had set before: to gain what I was losing with age, to keep a strong balance, a hardcore middle path but now I want to excel a bit, push myself more, get ripped. 

I quit smoking cigarettes over more than a year ago. Actually, I had picked up the habit for only three and a half years after having quit for more than seven years. I picked up smoking late in my life which makes it easier for me to quit than someone who started in their early teens. At that tender age, the brain is far more susceptible, so much more malleable, and habits formed then can last a lifetime. In adolescence, more than any other stage of life, the brain is bombarded with the most potent hormonal chemistry, a brutal metamorphosis that will push the body and mind of a teenager through the pain of puberty. 

Though the process of growth is never really over until death, it is never as dramatic as in turning a boy or a girl into a young man or a young lady. It is excruciating. Emotionally taxing. Adolescence is the closer we men have ever been to experiencing what is like to be a girl. Of course, I am only teasing. Teenager boys do not have the mastery of emotion girls their age already possess. 

Women surpass men in emotional equilibrium, in being more rational when it comes to attraction and weighing in consequences and taking the long path in love. 

Girls are clever creatures, and they have superpowers. Their intuition, that is. They can read your state of mind and your confidence by studying your facial expressions, your stance, your oratory, your presence. A girl should not be the purpose; she´s part of the deal, more than an appetizer but never the main course. Women are an important part of our life, if we are men who love women; but they are not the purpose, the fire of a higher calling. The more immersed we are in our plans and routines, the more attractive we will be, because women may say that they want more of your time but do not give her all of it either. Or else she´ll secretly resent your lack of resolve. She already has a pussy; she doesn´t need another one. 

What happens, I think, is... I feel comfortable in my own skin and it is something that others can instantly pick up. I treat others as fairly and ethically as I can. I try to see if I can be of help. If you want to make others feel positive about you, well, be positive. There is no guarantee. You have to cut out some of the dark elements; the less downers in life, the better. Even among family members, choose the ones you befriend. Do not spend too much or too little time with little loved ones, like my sons. Especially, Esteban who is autistic, very smart, ten year old boy. Today, he cut his own hair and we had to fix it. It does look a little less horrible than before but now is just laughable. That other thing he did to his hair, it was so bad it still looked pretty bad after fixing it. 

Some people want to be left alone, so I leave them alone. If they show promise, I seize it. A good vibe, an extended courtesy, a quiet nod, it all adds up to a great experience, so much so that many come for more, some just shy away or hide in the shadows nearby. Others come and engage you, these are the fierce ones, the ones I usually tend to get alone with more. I can be quiet and introspective, almost distant but always on. Looking good and doing good, what else could you possibly want?

I can be antisocial, too. I like to go back to my man cave, usually if I´m absorbed in a writing project. Reading is essential to the writer. It´s how we brag about just how much we´ve read. We can go through other worlds similar to the one we inhabit, or not. We can transform ourselves, if we only try. We can be a force of good. We can be better in many ways, or just one thing, and master it, get it done with. 

I can be antisocial to fend off undesirable elements. It is time management. Some people prefer to keep to themselves. I respect that.

I often tease, ignore them outright, throw a little hint, I can really make you feel like you are the most desirable person in a room. I know I am that good. 

I could enthrall you, no agendas. I may find you attractive. I won't say so much as a word. 

You may not agree.

You may play your feminine wiles. 

You can be rude. 

It doesn´t matter.

You can flatter me.

You can ignore me.

It's all the same.

It is pretend for some but niceness makes the world around. It radiates from within and is palpable to those around you. Let the life that surrounds you embrace you. 

A quiet smile will suffice. 

Whatever you do, it is a reflection of what goes on inside you, and I have little, if any, say on it. I do not take any offense or pass any judgement. 

I accept you. I treat you like premium. I can abandon you and you will suffer my indifference. It hurts as much as a whip.