Acting on impulse when it comes to emotions?

I’ve had one of those revitalizing siestas that have a surrealistic impact on the mind, questions of existential nature arise and the feeling that there’s a vast invisible world at its full machinery working, makes any attempt by reason to seem diminished in comparison. I also thought of Maria, again. I had an impulse to call her since we don’t know why is it that we decide to do what we do nor why sometimes when we decide on it, leave it. But I left it at that. I do not want to alter my reality by opening adjacent channels to flow through. Couldn’t, perhaps, these very same thoughts have a provoking, devastating effect if I, for instance, suddenly chose to pick up the phone and call her? That would represent a change, but we don’t entirely know if it would be for good. It would be a viceral impulse and common wisdom has it that it is good to apply it in respect to our emotions. It's not true: emotions also demand some of the same moderation and caution applied to business. It’s not that I abandoned the idea, of course; on the contrary, I want her and her gorgeous self more than I can confer here. What I am becoming lately is more effective in the way I handle emotions because after all they are the reason we are where we are right now. Rarely do we exert the discipline and abnegation that our reasoning demands, and if we chose, for instance, to give a detailed example of a perfect life the very picture depicted will have very little in common with our reality. We know best yet we seem to apply the worst. Let’s face it: we’re great at being miserable. Not to be cynical but we are not often the result of our best efforts. Our best efforts more often than not are limited by our tendency to slack off, to fall madly in love or in torture, to hide behind our fears and dreams, and in order to get the job done leave a margin of error far greater than planned sometimes. I was in this situation before, I can tell myself, and I don’t remember coming out of it victorious or any wiser than I was before. In fact, many of the situations in which I encounter myself daily have a consistent pattern not all evident, and at times it seems that I have gone through this very process over and over and over again. Until, that is, I get it right. Then I suppose a new platform, a superior level is achieved. True: instead of desisting from the plan at hand, find new ways to conquer it. But what if we have the wrong road map? What if we’re in for the longest repetition of failure as in the mirrored mirror effect? There are always ways to do things more effectively, granted. Educating the beast within happens to be one of these venues. Imagine the things that could be accomplished if we were all to work to the fullest of our potential. Potential, per say, wouldn’t then be potential. It would be capacity in motion. This is also a chimera, a utopia, an illusion. Now I will leave all of these potential scenarios to their desolate expectations and call my dear Maria.