Regarding Damien, my "alter ego"

I had the idea of compiling all of my writings concerning diaries of mine, some of which date back to a decade ago. I discussed it with Jorge, who designed utopicos.com and he was enthusiastic about it. For a very long time, I went by the name of Damien. It had occurred to me, not as many simple minded people had suggested as the theological nemesis of the Christian deity. Instead, the idea of adopting a different name had been ingrained in me ever since I realized, like most individuals, I disliked my name. I read Hermann Hesse’s Damien. It was also a symbolic demolition of my former self. The irresolute, timid, often introspective individual I was up to then. I am, in many ways, in an inside-out process which aims at seeing the world that I want through visualization, then making whatever amends necessary to see it come to life. I better stop all of this esoteric talk and get on with writing in a more mundane style. I have the potential to owe in the beginning and then fade away eventually, sort of a bang before the imminent silence. Anyone who has seen a storm in the openness of nature, when a lightning heralds a catastrophic thunder that descends like a bolt of fire upon the earth and brightens it all, may have also noticed the calm amidst the tempest. Isn’t that the second time I use this metaphoric analogy? Tautologically forthcoming, I’ll put it down in simpler terms: I made the mistake of writing down this very diary webpage along with my cell number and my email address in the paper handed to my mysterious cutie on the D train. I also had the bad taste of putting down as a name Damien; that wasn’t as crazy, for after all she is still a stranger. So I thought about correcting it. It’s that the paper that I actually gave her with my name on it and my phone number and all, was intended to be for Crystal, a friend at work who has recently started school and in order to instill some enthusiasm in her I offered my unconditional support when it came to study-related work. Now I know it sounds like there are many names in here but if anyone makes an effort to note will realize that in fact only two potential “conquests” are on my mind recently. One, of course, is my dear Maria. Secondly, my dear stranger traveling on the D train. This was an attempt to correct something that may not have any effect as I know that the most probable outcome will be nothing. Nonetheless, it is worth the venturing nerve of trying.