I ran into a little problem with my sister the other night.

I ran into a little problem with my little sister the other evening. She became annoyed because I referred to her what our other middle sister had said to me, that she was still waiting for money that she owed her. Paola became instantly furious, saying that she bore the responsibility of her family in Colombia, and that meanwhile I was just having my fun. It was great therapy, I tell you. She is like a telenovela, with her repertoire of humiliations, so full of herself, so arrogant. She declared that I could go around saying that she threw me out of her house. I never had conceived of such an audacity and quite frankly passing off as the victim is not my thing. But more importantly, it's a drag. The relationship I thought we had was just a naïve dream. I thought she took me in because she loved me that we had a great time and that yes, she helped me, as I have helped her in the past. I paid my rent, and I tolerated very little. She denounces me as a crybaby who could say that was thrown out of the house. Why would I want to portray the image of a martyr, like my grandmother has under my aunt's rule? I was in a difficult position when I left but went there in good standing, at least economically; I became unemployeed later. I understand how difficult it is for adults to have one of their own without an income. But who hasn’t been in that position before? I came out of it as most people do sooner rather than later, and financially I am in a much better condition than I ever was before. She also mentioned passionately her attributes, loyalty to her family, perseverance, and denounced me as a hypocrite whose mask had fallen and shall fall also for others like my sister and mother once here. To the extent of hypocrisy, I have been tolerant of her presumptuous husband as much as he has been of me. Does that make us hypocritical? Perhaps, but if appearances are to be kept then at times I have been discreet. Given the absence of a father in her upbringing, she is used to mistreating men in her life, including her own. Her husband, by the way, didn't treat me inappropriately, in part because it’s not in his nature to displease his woman but more importantly still: I didn’t provide him with such an opportunity. True, I lived there for three months and a half, and the last one and a half for free. I am in debt to them and grateful as well for that period of shelter. But I kept my part: I was neat, orderly, and paid for my other needs. My sister claims she is a responsible person. Yet at the same time complains about having the bigger take in respect to our family, who, unlike of myself, expects her to. It’s not responsible to be entirely responsible for others, if that is what she pretends (which I doubt is true). And, in any respect, it’s sort of an exaggeration. She owes money to my sister in Colombia, which was the reason her arrogance was punctured and the whole argument started from. She has, I suppose, perhaps given more than me. But that doesn’t constitute responsibility when she has a home and family of her own to support, in fact she may be putting on top of her shoulders more responsibility than she is endowed, specially now that she is expecting. She has sadly chosen these responsibilities, and she has needless to say chosen poorly. She resents me for not having helped her in her time of need. She came abruptly to New York with her husband (I didn’t go to her house with my wife), and stayed with me in a little studio apartment with who was then my girlfriend and her son for a couple of weeks. Such a small place for four grown adults and a youngster, of course, would be grounds for trouble. She spent her economical resources in personal activities during this affair and was wasteful of my resources, using my phone line to call collect Colombia and the expenses were considerable (close to a hundred dollars). She also accuses me of taking her to restaurants to find a job as a waitress as if I had taken her to be prostituted. She said I had thrown out of my life, more or less, my aunt, her solid ally, my supposed nemesis. I imagine this is the part of the conversation in which my aunt will interrupt her and intensely gasp, “And, what did he say to you?” This is what I say to you.
Gossip is a way of bonding for this sick family. Now, I am told that my grandmother told my mother (doesn’t it sound so primitive to you, all of this display of dominance through verbal aggression. She clearly is sure of herself. I didn’t say such a thing to my grandmother. I simply said that I had my doubts my mother will come soon because it took a process. In reference to what I think of her actually coming here, I always said it was her choice. By her choice, I meant my mother’s. She will have the decision between staying here and going back to Colombia. My grandmother is just projecting her exaggerated emotions towards living in this country. Look, Paola is a little hardcore brat. But she is right in that sense. I shall help in whatever way I am able to so that the process of my mother getting here is facilitated. But it is not my main dish. I have other ambitions to fulfill, and Paola’s ambitions are her. She can only try to put pressure so that the picture she has of my mother living in the States comes to be. I also know she has put the effort to actually support the process both financially and emotionally. But I think is stupid of her to actually believe that I have no interest in it and yet go along with it at the same time.
I think we had our good and bad times, but I let the good ones prevail. I will avoid her from now on. I still have all of the clothes I owned before moving back here and my entire c.d. collection. In time, we’ll make peace but for now I am taking caution. She’s unruly and seems to have very little patience, characteristics of a broken home; I contribute to my mother and sister in Colombia but I do it at my own pace and convenience. I have not always contributed in the past. But in accordance with the individual I’ve become, I have consistently and throughout some time now given and intend to do so in the future. If I see it fit and as long as I consider it necessary, never straining myself in the process. Always with a sense of decency and pride to be able to do so. As of Paola, I made ammends to cut all interdependencies between us and excise some distance. She is pregnant and I don't want to cause her any woes. There's so much to be done.