Heuristics

Sit at work, count each sliced second, ticking away the dull moments that add up to culminate in a day. Day in and out we conceive of things to come, piling up stones to the invisible wall that envelops us, guarded away from those around. Let's think of ways to cut down our caloric intake, make sure the laundry and the grocery get done, take your own prepared meals to work, choose the clothes you'll wear to your date tonight (is it a date?), call and set up a meeting with an old flame, study the FSD material and ace the exam at Metrotech. Continue to heal, it is a mindful process, focus now and rip the rewards later. Life is how well you manage your resources -which are limited- and in what direction will your journey take you. Rather than envisioning your goal as a tedious and grueling task ahead, think of it instead as you would of an adventure. Nothing planned for too long or unplanned for is worth our effort; part of it is almost mechanic, heuristics, like second nature.

From the platform above the rails, the train slides right on through the rainy night, even the weather doesn't put a stop to the spectacle of lights and wonder this city is. What to do now? Where to turn? What great adventures will the night bring along? Doesn't always happiness come with a side of misery? Isn't the light that propels all shadows? Someone once said that no one knows enough to be a pessimist; the inverse rationale is true as well. Of course, willpower is mostly an illusion, nature didn't leave to chance our destiny, it didn't leave to divine  inspiration the complexities life's bestowed upon us, and it didn't leave acts of kindness to the poor, random and often weak ability to choose. In the end, we choose nothing and we're all out of control.
Fear bounds us all.