Now that I have eaten

Now that I have eaten and digested my food watching an episode never seen more than once before on the Dave Chappell DVD is time to write. It’s pleasant outside, weather-wise, not too cold just a bitter chill. Three possible ideas: one was absolutely self-indulgent, the other half selfish and not imposed, and thirdly, a boring obligating one. In the end, I have decided we will all go to Queens. That was, of course, the third choice and, to say it mildly, initially the least contemplated as an actualization. Now, it stands. Isabel is readying herself, along with her son, Vangelis. We will be on our way in a little while. I should probably take with me music, alcohol and pot, because we are going to party. The sad part is that my cousins might not be hanging around and then I’ll be stuck with Paola and my aunt and another half a dozen elders who will undoubtedly be gossiping behind our backs about us. If such is the case, I will venture out myself to wish them a Happy New Year and come back here later in the night. That was the second choice. The third, and most appetizing one, was to go to Kana by myself, and receive the New Year dancing, if possible, with a perfectly gorgeous stranger.
Selfishness is a dish served cold, and it can wait. Tonight is a time of reminiscence and what better place to squander it away than with those strangest of all creatures known as family. I am usually centered in my decisions and normally I would have opted for the second alternative. Just for the sake of appearances, I shall sacrifice a little and spend some quality time with them. After all, we can always call it a night and venture into Manhattan.
Vangelis was afraid of something happening when I suggested going to Times Square, but I told him he shouldn’t be afraid, whatever happens, happens, and we shouldn’t let fear rule us. I told him that if some losers had the proverbial balls to climb aboard a plane, take it hostage and then crash against skyscrapers, I didn’t find a reason why would I fear attending the massive madness in Times Square. In all the years that I’ve lived in this city, I never got to welcome New Years in Times Square. What other souls would give in order to have this opportunity? I shall do so at another time, not tonight. This coming year is a time of sacrifices in the name of others. I should continue to help my mother and sister in Colombia, and legalize Isabel’s situation, assist her finding another job, and move out of the Bronx. Some of the things I will do for myself include a dental work and publishing a couple of books. We will built something for a few people in my life, so that I can prosper in peace with myself and rely confidently on the idea that my existence has been not been completely wasted. Going back to school in summer to take courses on specific subjects, traveling outside the United States, and reading these words with a new smile on my face will be enough to live up to.
Now, I must proceed with caution, renounce any attempt to escape and flourish. I will call them and find out if my cousins will be staying until New Year’s arrival. If so, then I shall have no further excuse not to.