The Dirty War Tactics of Love

And so, we’re different people at different times, because the idea is to adapt to the evolving life that surrounds us, elusive and direct engagement, like a bull fighter: stare it in the face with a sword ready to slay it and the courage not to back down and keep moving, not to be a sitting duck for long. A sucker, an idiot, a fall, everyone encounters here and there; we should not dwell for long on things gone array. We should lick our wounds and move on.
Either way, pain is bound to linger, accentuating its presence in the inner voices of our mind. Quiet those voices with plenty sessions of mindfulness, do mingle from time to time and bring to fruition projects long envisioned. It is the only way to survive: reinvent yourself. Wardrobe, mental paradigms, shifting, in and out. Strength is not in never feeling vulnerable; it is in withstanding the passage of time and suffering without fighting it. Don’t resist pain. Let it grow inside you, don’t question it, don’t beat yourself up about it. Breathe in, fully, and feel it: it is yours. It is a gift. It is what life is made of as well. And you might want to get in touch with this healing, this period of recovery. Convalescence is not blown-out sickness. It is a step outside the dark.
Like a real man, I must not deny the pain this represents. It’s not a pleasant feeling to disengage from it all; disentangling ourselves from sources of kindness and tenderness, the intimacy rendered, as a man you know you have lost so much. But you can only gain from this loss and oh so much more still than you wasted. In fact, little, if anything, has been wasted. And pain, we must endure and suffer as quietly as possible. No need to vent out, or go on a stranger-fuck-spree, not just yet. First, mend your broken wings and then soar vigorously. Work out more often, harder and be ten times better the next time around. Instead of venturing out and finding solace in the wild outdoors, remain in the shadows for a while, decompress and regroup. Work out, meditate, write, tutor, nurture and cultivate yourself. Don’t take forever to get on your favorite pair of jeans, buy yourself a power shirt and some stylish brand-new pair of shoes, and go out there fishing. Not hunting, but fishing: patience, relaxation, and things will fall on your laps. At some point, you have to show your claws and grasp what you want out of it. Like I’d go out for just three beers, spend no more than two hours at a crowded bar scene and toss a conversational bone here and there, mindlessly watching the flat-screen T.V. or engaging the bartender casually, not completely committed to it. And then it’d happen, a semi-gorgeous creature will position herself nearby. This is a good sign: proximity. Next stop: eye contact. If you catch her checking you out, teaser her: “It’s not polite to stare.” Don’t just open your mouth; open your eyes and your heart to it. Welcoming gestures, a not-imposing posture, a relaxed demeanor, a full and vibrant tone of voice that commands attention. Own this shit, and feel good in your own skin. For that, there musts: fitness, impeccability and a positive attitude. Nothing repels more than seeking an outcome in every interaction; once you take the sexual agenda off the table, she’s left with nothing too lethal in her arsenal. Don’t antagonize her; make her feel safe, but instill also an element of danger. This may be embodied in the form of tension: she’s about to find out you’re for real. And the way you conquer this ground is by not giving in. Stand your ground. Don’t let her in on it, make her work a little for your attention and always remember that you are the predator. It’s okay for her to remain irresponsive and play hard to get; your job is to “get” her before you actually get to be with her. Don’t fall for her antics. Just give her plenty of space and be always on the retreating offensive. Like guerilla warfare, ambush: move swiftly and be out of your angling position before the strike hits. Be an elusive target and send snipers, not a whole infantry. You don’t win wars by deploying every resource to your first battle; you gain territory gradually, and do so almost as if you were working from the shadows.
As soon as you see that things have peaked, bear in mind they can only come down. And like the perfect drug, there’s no other way around it but to endure the withdrawal effect. Coming off of it, you may feel slightly nauseous, a bit dizzy, somewhat shaken and scathed. Hold on to your guns, just don’t shoot indiscriminately, escape the crime scene before the police of consciousness makes an appearance. Don’t try to rationalize it; reason tends to sing its mad sirens, you’ll think is there as your servant but often plays the moralist and the unrighteous is purged out of. It’s okay to hurt, like it is okay to laugh, and it is okay to play the fool. It’s okay just about anything, just as long as it’s not for long; you should embrace everything and not hold on to anything. Everything is fleeting before our eyes. This very sentence is no longer apt. The time to act is now; live here, join us.