I don't spend a lot of time in the local bar. I go there once a week, have a few beers, drinks, not like I used to. In my twenties I drank the most, but it was really a long weekend thing, and it didn't last long. By my late twenties, I was assistant manager to a small security firm based out of New Jersey; they gave me a car, paid for everything, and it was not a time that I ever drank: I worked seven days a week, any hour of the day, and still then I had time to see my friends and take a girl out. In fact, it was something I looked forward to: the weekend.
Nowadays, it's different. When Esteban was born, I stopped but also left home due to problems with his mom. We soon thereafter took different paths and have had an amicable relationship, not exempt of drama altogether but decent enough. It's not because I have sons that I don't go out much. It's because, well, I'm old. And I'm too old to not notice if a person spends all of their time on the phone when they're with you, why couldn't they just answer a text? You let things of this nature slide over and over again, punishing with indifference, and the instances become less pronounced, What to do if they occur again?
Well, you take measures. Look, it's okay if you can't answer back but if you initiated the conversation, then end it. I don't ask nothing compromising, but you will get an answer from me. It's just a no-no in my book to tolerate women get away with murder. Rudeness should never be something you have to suffer without consequences. We're not talking about the ego. We're talking about not inflating their ego by letting slide too many things all at once. Minimize your interactions, and you only talk if you see each other, not on the phone. That works for me, it's ideal, I have things to take care, people to please, places to go, and I enjoy what we have because is benevolent. We know each other for a few months, if things were meant to be, they'd be by now. It's not right to lead a man on, the way you have; I understand, girls play hard to get, and I love giving chase, but I don't too much of an effort with her and it is a relaxed atmosphere, not without my attempts at her. Of course, if she didn't want me at all, then I suppose it'd make no sense really to spend time with me. That's just a bad dynamic.
Of course, I had girlfriends who wouldn't sleep with me, some who started as friends and later on became more, and others it was just instantaneous. With her, I didn't initially take much notice. I was still in love with Connie when she moved in with me, and by then Connie and I were done. We had our silly, melodramatic fights, because, I insist, she's feisty, and I hate bullies, so we clash. Oh, I'm just teasing. Look, all melodrama aside, you've got to be careful because before you know it, girls can entangle you in their sensationalist webs and you can become a slave to their whims. Of course, I love playing along, you never know people's hearts by merely looking at their face. Here we have someone who has met friends, family of mine, and has been to my place in more than a few occasions; I've yet to meet one of her friends, or see her place. Well, look, it's the guy's place the default destination. But we are friends, though we behave like old lovers: no drama, no sex. And I had that before, and I love how intimacy builds, but in the past we were making out. I get the "no sex" policy takes place, it happens, girls always need time and space, and I give plenty of that. But the no-kissing, that is just odd.
Sex workers and rapists do not kiss. There's intimacy involved, but also the withheld of power by the woman by playing the sex card right. Of course, there's even a name for it: cock teasing. I'll articulate: if you don't like the guy, simply leave him, don't toy with him; date only those who you will like. A healthy ego I have, and you shouldn't settle for so little. I'm not asking for much, but even I had to endure the pity-pat (you know, when a girl pats you as in "There, there" kind of taking pity on you) and I stopped there right there. I love hugs, and she seems cold and distant. That's not my kind of people. Well, what to do? Look, she's not a Facebook person, doesn't post more than once a month, so why is she communicating over Facebook? Who cares, truth is girls behave irrationally all the time, I'm not perplexed, but she goes without answering a text and being nice enough to talk to me on Facebook. Then when I reply, she's gone. Okay, so she talks to me and then ignores me. What is a man to do? I deleted her off Facebook, blocked her. I won't delete her from my life but Facebook is something I do more often, with baby pics and comments etc. and I feel like I'm looking over my shoulder if I post more than a girl I'm seeing. Yeah, "Seeing" is the right term. We've gone all places, and it's been mostly fun; I just feel like there's something else going on. It's fine by me, we all lead busy and demanding lives, and you're only young and beautiful once, so I understand. What I do is, I limit my exposure, if I read things correctly I can move on, it's up to me to cut things neat and make the right move.
It's not machismo, or sexism, it's not the end of the world either. I need to cut down on everything, and it's not like I spend any money on her. She doesn't owe me any of her time, is what I don't get. I enjoy her company, but she has some bad habits. There are some red flags I cannot possibly ignore.
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