Common Ground

Your friend the morbidly overweight gay guy (cool guy, though, just using the emphasis you love to color your world with) to whom you cannot say anything about how heavy he is, as if in doing so you were doing him a favor.
It's none of my business, I know. But if I were his friend, as he insisted being mine even though it sounded fake (like when in the video clip he wishes me a happy birthday and insists: "I mean it!" Well, if it were up to me, I'd say something about it.
"Get real, man. You need to work your ass off, eat healthier and minimize the alcohol intake. That's a friend. A friend sees that your safety comes first, but oh no! it's not about the fact that he could very well die if he continues to live his lifestyle, but that he has acquainted a vast majority of people who keep quiet just so that they don't hurt his feelings. Look, I get it, everyone is entitled to their privacy and the first thing anyone should know is that none of the people who knows me can accuse me of anything other than saying things how I see them. And, of course, I exercised discretion so I said nothing to him. They speak of friends in common and I've seen him around other people behaving like an asshole, but I never knew the guy until he started showing up all of a sudden (never visited you while you were pregnant and neither did your other perfect friends who now support you all of a sudden because you follow down their path. See, the fact is, just like you come here and then spend the night at your gay friend's apartment and even take my half a bottle of Vodka to him (initially, you lied, said you had flushed it down the sink but when I said there was no sign of an empty bottle anywhere in the apartment, you fessed up: "I gave it to my friend." 

Just like he talks crap about other girlfriends of yours with you, he does the same with others. He ran out scared or ashamed as if I were going to assault him somehow last time I saw him at the local bar. Guy didn't even pay the bill, and it isn't the first time; he has his girlfriends bail him, order food for him. This guy, who? The one you wanted to leave our child with so that we could go drink at the local bar, when he was already drunk. I've never seen that guy sober. I've seen him hide beers of mine in his pockets, and that's the friend you love. The guy who self-hates and over-medicates with antidepressants and alcohol just the way you've done, mix your antidepressant medicine with your anxiety medicine and a few glasses of wine so that you fall asleep in the middle of the conversation sitting on a chair, head down execution style. I'll omit the details, but the fact is, you loath him and the guy loathes himself, that's why he's eating himself to a heart-attack, calls off every so often, and you call me out in front of family in the party I was throwing for you for having missed a day of work when I said I hadn't called off in more than a year. Why you choose people like him, who thrive in drama and speak lowly of others, is because they ring true to your character. 

For who are your friends to take our business so personal that they'd delete me from Facebook. It's okay, if you don't know me and the only reason you added me was because I was going out with a friend of yours, who gives a crap? Look, aside from your gay friend, you also pay tribute to a girl who, as you told me, works for the porn industry. According to you, her parents don't even know this about her, and the casual boyfriend for whom she changes her profile relationship status every few months, how could she be so strict when it comes to my actions against you? Because according to you, the reason you didn't let me know you were coming (it's not like I was going to leave work to go confront you about it) was because you were afraid I might stop you. There's no stopping you and I don't think I ever tried to whenever you picked up and disappeared which you've done every so often. Yeah, this isn't the first time you've left without a note, but you did spend the night in New York and even though you were afraid of me, you called me to see if I wanted to meet you at DD and have a coffee because you were leaving to the airport in an hour. I asked you if Julian was with you and when you said no, I just went back to bed, didn't even reply. I am not playing hide-and-seek, or the violent prototype who is going to go ape on you. I know you love to slander me, and when I called to tell you t

First, there's the gay crap. According to her, she found "in my email" account several ads placed on craigslist seeking sexual encounters at home, and it was only the second time in our relationship that this happened. I reminded her, the first time was over than six years ago and you found it digging through my email. The picture used in that ad was taken from my MySpace account by a guy at work who eventually got caught and was fired later (for something else). The guy had really stupid habits, I work with a lot of good people, but there are always idiots, it's a fact of life, you can't escape it. In the time since then, it has happened, always an idiot taking advantage of my carelessness. Hence the fact that you were getting in and out of my email, who cares? I myself gave you the password which was generic (and still is), had I done so if I were, as you claim, trying to hide something. I left it there as proof of a prank initially and it wasn't the first or the last time I fell victim to it. Just a few months back, someone went and posted on my wall that I loved to suck big juicy balls, I don't recall the exact wording, but I remember thinking, "Whoever wrote that shows love in its attention to detail." Friends of mine replied with "Likes" and people who secretly despises me or wanting to tease me, pressed more and more Likes, and I saw it only because someone from work called to tell me about it. Even my cousin George commented: "You better change your password." No one knows my password, except you, and you had denied previously that you'd check my email, spy whenever I left my Facebook account open (which happened regularly), I liked it, it showed you cared and I had nothing to hide. Except things started to unravel, and I was missing money from my bank account, and I wanted to know if you had used my debit card to pay for anything. If you fell entitled to some of the money from the income tax return, that's one irrefutable thing. You had asked and I had said yeah, but what you don't seem to understand is that even though I didn't get a chance to write you a check, I would've never denied you anything. You feel satisfied? Fine, but you should have asked. It was the proper thing to do. Then, if I denied you, resort to whatever tactics. Fact is, I never denied you. And I never stole from you. You stole from me everything: more than what I was supposed to give you. You filed the taxes yourself, and that's because if we filed jointly (Elizabeth and I), we'd get twice as much back; you yourself did the math, so I had your cut somewhere around $1,800, it's slightly more than what I got for putting Julian as a dependent. You took almost $2,300, and did so without remorse, not so much as an apology, or regret. But that's fine, too.

Spend all the time you want with your family, and I'll go see my son as soon as I can. If you come by New York, I'd love to have a cup of coffee. Things are okay over here, the weather is getting nicer and soon summer will be here. I've kept very active and I have school tomorrow, so we'll leave it at that. Good night, and know that I don't hate you and I wish you are in good health, the space and comfort, judging from the pictures, all the family support, all the love and affection they have for Julian is the one I have for him as well. This much we have in common. This is common ground. Who cares why our relationship failed, we may not understand each other but Julian will always be held dear to us all.